In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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