DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
