i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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