thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pants are for mortals
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
