Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
