Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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