I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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