Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
