You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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