cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize