my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
