..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
