I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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