fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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