it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
