if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
