Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize