You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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