Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
