i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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