the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
