i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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