i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
