You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize