Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
