would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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