I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
