he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
