I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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