Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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