i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
