If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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