Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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