Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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