OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I believe in your delicious
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
