I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
