I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
