Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
