Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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