I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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