my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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