I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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