Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
