So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
