I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
