she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
