I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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