and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My penis needs a shock collar
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
