is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
