1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
They have beer where we have blood.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize