the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
