Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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