Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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