Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
