I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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