i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
