Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
