is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So vagazzling was a success
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
