Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
