omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize